Clueless in Paris, or, Angst in France

It's time once again for the anual
ACB
convention. We're here at the hotel, and I must say that thus far, I think this is the best hotel for getting internet at. I'm hoping that will allow me to keep a more frequent account of the goings on here. I make no promises, however.

It's a bittersweet time for me. I'm getting to see friends I've known for years, meet others I've known online and it's wonderful. But Thursday night my great aunt died, and so we may be going to a funeral then coming back. Or not, because I forgot a vital medication at home, and we have to figure out how to get it here. It's hard not to beat myself up and say I've ruined everything. Honestly, the emotional quicksand I've been stuck in for a while just won't give up its grip..

So for those who are at convention, I look forward to seeing you. To those who can't be here, we'll miss you. To everyone, I'll try to write more than I usually do at convention, but I make no promises.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128938/deciding_vote_on_wetlands

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/deciding_vote_on_wetlands?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

WASHINGTON, DC—Congress narrowly passed the McCann-Hawkins Florida Wetlands Preservation Bill Tuesday, with the deciding vote coming from an unlikely source: Sen. Dwight Q. Peabody (D-RI), the Littlest Senator.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128939/vatican_tightens_nocturnal

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/vatican_tightens_nocturnal?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

VATICAN CITY—The Vatican has released a strict new set of Church laws intended to reduce the nocturnal emissions of teenage polluters by 50 percent in the next decade, Cardinal Antoni Bertoli announced Monday.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128940/39180

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39180?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

NORFOLK, VA—In what has been dubbed the most "devastating and brutal siege in the history of animal-rights activism," an elite, paramilitary squad of commandos from People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA) attacked and killed 49 employees at Couture Cosmetics' Norfolk, VA, research facility while saving a rabbit during a daring midnight raid Monday.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128941/climatologists_secure

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/climatologists_secure?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

FAIRBANKS, AK—Researchers from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration received a $42 million federal grant for a...

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128942/31759

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31759?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

WASHINGTON, DC— Sen. Pete Domenici (R-NM), ranking Republican on the Senate Subcommittee on Energy and Water Development, revealed Monday that the group is "less a Senate subcommittee than a big family. "[Senator] Harry [Reid (D-NV)] isn't just chairman of our subcommittee. He's more like a dad to us," Domenici said. "We can talk to him about anything that's troubling us, even if it has nothing to do with the allocation of hydroelectric power."

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/292102582/tomato_genetically_modified

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tomato_genetically_modified?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

PASADENA, CA—Geneticists at the California Institute of Technology announced Monday that they have developed a tomato with a 31 percent larger...

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128943/endangered_manatee_struggles

http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/endangered_manatee_struggles?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128944/33702

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33702?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Ever since my retirement last month from the sock factory, I've had a lot of extra time to spend around the yard. But the hours of pleasurable pruning I had planned to enjoy with my new cordless rechargeable Master Clipper have been cruelly withheld from me. Instead, my afternoons have been spent in an unending feud with those motherfucking robins that infest my yard. All my attempts to coexist with these creatures on my meticulously trimmed, lush suburban lawn have failed, leaving me with no choice but to exterminate them. Do you hear me, you lousy, cocksucking robins? This is war!

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/327128945/an_open_letter_to_those_of_you

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/an_open_letter_to_those_of_you?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

I'll admit, Arbor Day isn't as big a holiday as Thanksgiving or Independence Day. But to my mind, it's every bit as special. It signifies the symbiotic relationship we have with the land in a way that no other holiday does, not even Easter. It is The Little Holiday That Could and, as such, it holds a special place in my heart—a place I thought I could share with my closest friends and coworkers. Well, I guess you all showed me.

Well, after flying across the country and dealing with airport indignities that have unfortunately become commonplace, I made it to Louisville. And it was worth all of it. I'll have more substantive stuff to report when I've gotten some sleep.

The dictionary defines Independence as freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. I believe that every person has their own definition and oppinion of what independence means for them. Because this is Independence Day and I am thinking about independence, confidence, compitence, freedom, ETC., I would like to talk about what independence means to me.
As a young child independence was a word that I did not understand and could not comprehend. I remember people talking about me and saying that I was different. My parents pushed me to be independent, yet I did not know what being independent was. As an adult I understand what being independent is. Looking back on my childhood I understand why my parents pushed me very hard and forced me to be independent.
My definition of independence is multi fasceted. Independence presents itself in various forms, with some forms of independence being more complicated than others. Becoming independent takes time, practice, patience, and perseverance. The first step is to want your independence, because if you do not want to be independent chances are you will not ever become independent.
My journey towards independence has been filled with battles that I have fought, some of them I have lost and some of them I have won. I will fight each new battle as it comes with courage and prayer, counting only my victories and not counting my losses. In a perfect world I would win each and every battle that I fight, yet losing some battles provide valuable lessons. That is not to say that I do not fight every battle that I am faced with with less courage or vigger. I learn from my victories and from my losses, filing each lesson away for future reference and use. With every battle I gain new tools. A tool can be a variety of things, but I do not ever question the vallidity of this tool over that tool because each and every tool has it's own place in my book. A tool can have multiple purposes depending on the situation.
Living independently, traveling independently, advocating independently, working independently, ETC. are crucial skills for me. I want to be as independent as I possibly can, but please understand that I am not afraid to ask for assistance with anything. A support system is a necessity for me to be independent, thus allowing me to ask questions or ask for assistance. Having people to talk to about anything and everything gives me resources or assistance when either are needed for whatever reason.
Sunny captures independence for me because working with her brings all aspects of what independence means to me together!
I do not know why in the world I am penning my thoughts to paper or in my case typing my thoughts to computer, but nonetheless here they are for what they are or are not worth.
Love,
Kolby

Happy Independence Day!
I remember this time last year I was at Guide Dogs For The Blind learning all of the commands, hand signals, and foot work that I would be using with my Guide Dog. We received our dogs on Thursday, July 5, 2007. I remember calling my parents sobbing to tell them that I would be giving the first dog back and trying another dog, and calling sobbing again to tell them that I would be coming home without a dog. Explaining my situation countless times when people in the various Airports asked me why I was traveling and where I was going was unbelievably hard. Telling them how I had been to California to get my Guide Dog, and here I was heading home to North Carolina using my cane. I gave very little details, but people were sympathetic and wished me well. This only made things worse for me, but I smiled and thanked each person who talked to me and who took an interest in what happened to me.Coming home from Guide Dogs For The Blind without my Guide Dog I had gone there for was literally absolutely devistating for me. When my parents met me at the Airport, I collapsed in to their arms sobbing. I could not believe everything that happened to me in those 2 weeks. I did not want to believe anything anymore.
I did not want to use my cane or do anything remotely relating to Orientation And Mobility at all. Clair, Mobility Instructor was very understanding about everything. She knew my confidence was nonexistent and she took things very slowly with me. I hated learning The University Of North Carolina At Greensboro Campus with my cane. The routes were more complicated than anything I had ever encountered before, and I was terrified! Claire broke the routes down in to very detailed directions, discovering along the way that this was how I learned best. We still use the detailed method today when planning and executing routes.
Either Claire, Mom, or Dad worked with me on the routes every day from the time that I returned from Guide Dogs For The Blind until the time classes began. My first day of College I got lost countless times, and I came back to my dorm room at the end of the day crying because I wanted to give up and go home. As time passed things became easier for me, and I found myself growing more confident when traveling with my cane. I learned that it is perfectly acceptable to ask for help when I need it, that getting lost is not the end of the world, ETC. I realized that I was not pannicking anymore when I did not know where I was, and that if back tracking and problem solving did not work seeking assistance was the thing to do.
There was not ever any doubt in my mind that a Guide Dog was the right thing for me, thus the search for the Guide Dog School where I would apply next began. I was thorough in my research just as I had been before, and making the decision to apply to The Guide Dog Foundation For The Blind was an easy one. There were certain aspects about The Guide Dog Foundation that stood out for me, their utalization of leash guiding, incorporation of the find command, other training methods, ETC. influenced my decision. I filled out the application, turned in all of the paperwork, and waited for the telephone call scheduling my Home Interview. The telephone call came on Saturday, February 23, 2008, exactly 1 year, 1 week, and 1 day after my Home Interview with Guide Dogs For The Blind. I spent months preparing for my Home Interview with Guide Dogs For The Blind, and I was scared to death about my Home Interview with The Guide Dog Foundation For The Blind. During my Home Interview with The Guide Dog Foundation I met Deana Izzo, the wonderful woman who would become my trainer and friend though I did not know that at the time. I waited on pins and needles from the time Deana walked out of my house until I held the letter from The Guide Dog Foundation. The letter would inform me of my acceptance or rejection for The Guide Dog Foundation Training Program, and I opened that envelope in tears and with shaking hands. When the letter was read to me I screamed because the letter contained notification of my acceptance in to The Guide Dog Foundation Training Program. At the time I did not yet have a class date, but I knew that I would be getting my Guide Dog. My hard work was paying off, and I could not wait to see what would happen!
I received a telephone call from Deana on Saturday, April 12, 2008 informing me that I would not be able to get my Guide Dog during the summer due to an infection found in some of the dogs in The Guide Dog Foundation Kennel, but that she had a dog who was a reissue that she thought would be a very good match for me. Deana said that she thought that Home Training would be the best option for me if I chose to accept the dog in mind because of my lifestyle, the experienced dog, my maturity level, physical, mental, and emotional stability, ETC. I hung up the phone and immediately called my parents to tell them the news and discuss everything with them. We agreed that Deana would not have said anything to me if she did not think that the dog would be a good match, and I decided to say yes to my training with the dog. My Training Dates were confirmed, and I began counting down the days until training!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008 was the longest day of my life! I waited and waited and waited around trying to occupy myself with everything that I could think of, but without success. Deana arrived at 3:00 PM and knocked on my front door. I was so nervous that I could hardly think! She told me to sit down in a chair and quietly call my dog to me. I softly said, "Sunny, come." The next thing that I knew there was a very large furry dog landing in my lap toppling me out of my chair and licking my face.
Deana explained that my training would last 2 weeks, and during that time I would learn everything I needed to know about caring for and working with Sunny. As training progressed Deana knocked time off of her original number and said that because I was doing well she would only be staying for 10 days instead of 2 weeks. I was glad to hear that I was doing well, but I was unsure of myself because of my experience at Guide Dogs For The Blind. I was petrified that Deana was going to take Sunny away from me for whatever reason, and that I would go through the same thing that I went through at Guide Dogs For The Blind again. The feeling of utter failure at not coming home with a dog when you know you are ready is something that cannot be described in mere words. Deana understood my fears and worries, and she kept assuring me that everything was working out. The next thing I knew Deana informed me that she would be leaving the next day, making my training last 1 week. When she told me that she had nothing more to teach me and that I was an exceptional student, I thought that she was nuts! Training is very intense because there is so much that you learn in so little time! I kept thinking, "How in the world can I be ready? I do not know what I am doing!"
I cried when we filled out my final paperwork and I signed the document stating that I wanted ownership of Sunny. I sobbed when Deana left because I could not believe that Sunny and I had made it through training, because I had my Guide Dog, because I love Deana, because I love Sunny, because I have the love and support of my family, friends, and God, and so much more!
This particular Independence Day is special for me because it marks a significant mildstone in my life. Sunny and I have been together for exactly 1 month! We are learning from each other and with each other. She teaches me and I teach her. Our partnership is 50% work on my part and 50% work on her part. I love Sunny because she gives me independence! I thought that I would not ever have my Guide Dog, but one of my dreams has come true! I have Sunny, my Golden Girl! I look forward to working with her for years to come.
Hard work pays off! Do not ever give up!
Love,
Kolby And Sunny!

as reported in Bay Windows by Ethan Jacobs staff reporter
Wednesday July 2nd 2008 and UPDATED July 3 2008


When Nick Teich created a free account on the online personals site BisexualDatingNow.com last week, he decided to disclose that he is transgender. Perhaps he shouldn’t have.

"They say, tell us about yourself in your own words. And I stated, ’I’m a 25-year old trans guy living in Boston.’ . . . I didn’t want to mislead anyone looking at my profile, so that’s why I put that," said Teich. Within a day he had received three "smiles," which members send to express their interest in getting to know each other.

Teich thought little of his decision until he wrote to the site’s customer service staff about a problem he was having using the site. He exchanged e-mails with a customer service representative named Kiar Dupuis, and after reading his profile Dupuis informed him that the site does not allow transgender users.

"I am sorry, as a transgender, our site would not meet your needs. I am afraid we have to remove your profile," wrote Dupuis, according to an e-mail provided to Bay Windows by Teich. His profile was deleted shortly after he received the e-mail.

( Click here to read more and to find out how to protest this - and PS TangoWire is a Gay owned and operated company!!!!! )

we are x-posting this, we originally found this info on ftmichael's post on ourqueerfamily and neverbeuseless's post on gsa_lj but it's quickly spereading across the internet, it's now on "Pams House Blend" too. That'll get some action for sure!

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/151487507/nameless_hurricane_that_much_more

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nameless_hurricane_that_much_more?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

MIAMI—Thousands have already fled the popularly dubbed "Hurricane That Shall Not Be Named," to escape its destructive winds and chilling impersonality.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/203843584/bush_acknowledges_existence_of

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/bush_acknowledges_existence_of?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

"We can no longer ignore the facts — carbon dioxide is real," Bush said.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/326345377/28501

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28501?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

WASHINGTON, DC–According to a World Wildlife Fund study released Monday, stuffed-animal biodiversity is rapidly rising, with the number of species available in plush form up nearly 800 percent since 1990.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/326345378/33062

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33062?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

WASHINGTON, DC—Days after unveiling new power-plant pollution regulations that rely on an industry-favored market-trading approach to cutting mercury emissions, EPA Acting Administrator Stephen Johnson announced that the agency will remove the "E" and "P" from its name. "We're not really 'environmental' anymore, and we certainly aren't 'protecting' anything," Johnson said. "'The Agency' is a name that reflects our current agenda and encapsulates our new function as a government-funded body devoted to handling documents, scheduling meetings, and fielding phone calls." The change comes on the heels of the Department of Health and Human Services' January decision to shorten its name to the Department of Services.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/326345379/31731

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31731?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

COLLEGE STATION, TX–Texas A&M sophomore Bryan Datillo was jolted from a light sleep during a Botany 101 lecture Monday, when his professor, discussing the various methods by which experimental hybrid crops are developed, uttered the word "hydroponics." "I was kind of dozing off, but then I heard Professor Guyer say 'hydroponics,'" Datillo said. "I was like, 'Whoa! Now we're finally getting somewhere.' Unfortunately, he just said some boring shit about tomatoes, so I went back to sleep."

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/326345380/temperature_of_coffee

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/temperature_of_coffee?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

WASHINGTON, DC—A report released by the Union of Concerned Dietitians stated that not only will the temperature of coffee increase by nearly...